I write this from the sofa, after seven days of being in bed with flu. It was (and is still, a bit) the kind of flu you might have had as a child, when all you could do was let your mum put a wet flannel on your head as you drift in and out of sleep.
I always joke that when I get a bug, I REALLY Get. The. Bug. and this time was no different. So many work friends have had a cough/flu thing and I was feeling pretty smug that I hadn’t had it. This is very rare for me to avoid whatever lurgy is doing the rounds. “It must be my new eating regime helping me out” I thought. But alas not, and last Saturday I woke with a septic throat, chesty cough and hot, sore limbs with a lingering exhaustion I still haven’t shifted. I had a fever for several days and am only just eating again. I feel as weak as a feather, and my dodgy lung is keeping tight hold of the infection with a really painful cough.
Flu is just flu, no big deal. But what it did, and what any short illness now does is take me straight back to the months I spent in bed almost two years ago. It reminds me how sad and frustrated I was, and how isolated I felt from my family and friends.
It’s that much harder to get over, head-wise. Because not only does it knock me for six and take much longer than most normal muggles to shift, I also have to shift a lingering sadness of the memory of what it was like not to leave the flat for months apart from hospital appointments. Of facetiming my mum who I wished more than anything could come and put a flannel on my head.
There are millions of worse things than flu, and I am getting better. But I wanted to find out if anyone else who has had an illness much worse than flu ever feels like this when they come down with something straightforward?
My flu blues will shift, and hopefully what it’ll leave in its place is me feeling grateful that I’m so much better than I was almost two years ago.
It’s a constant fight though. I hope I find a way of living that gets my immunity stronger and puts weeks in bed as a much more distant memory.
Project Revive will reconvene next week.