Why it’s OK to have a break (and break the promises you make to yourself)

I haven’t written a blog post for 12 days and I’ve not done my weekly Seven Things On A Sunday post since the end of July. I’d got into such a routine (especially with #STOAS) and it’s tempting to feel like I’ve let myself down or I’ve somehow ‘blown it’.

But I’ve decided that that’s destructive inner dialogue and I’m giving it up.

So I haven’t blogged for a bit. Who cares? I might care a bit (or a lot if I let myself) but what have I been doing instead? I’ve been working reeeally hard, at pace, every day in the office and that’s taken over a bit, I’ve been to two weddings seeing friends I love get married in various parts of the country, I’ve helped another friend pull off an epic hen do in Brighton. In short, I’ve been working hard, playing hard(ish) and I’ve been prioritising the most important things on the list. Most weekends, aside from weddings and hen dos I’ve been really tired so I’ve just chilled out. The first #STOAS I missed I said to myself it would be a break, something I’d return to next week but I’ve missed four weeks since… I’ve missed it, and I’ve been really beating myself up but like I say, I’m fed up of feeling like that. I’ve written about taking too much on before, and I suppose I’ve tried to stop doing that these past few weeks so some things have dropped temporarily to maintain some sort of sanity (and energy). Is that so bad?

When you feel a bit crap about something, it’s really helpful to ask yourself what advice you’d give your friend in the same situation.

In this situation I’d tell my friend to stop berating themselves immediately and to acknowledge that a fun few weeks where you did what made you really happy IS A GOOD THING and then get on with it again. I’ve missed writing, I’ve missed creating stuff on this little part of the internet and I’ll return to it. I’ve made tonnes of notes of posts I want to (and will) write. But does it matter I missed some internal deadlines? What’s the worst that can happen? What good will come from me shouting at myself? Absolutely bloody nothing.

So if you’re the kind of person who tells yourself off when you think you’ve messed up, please stop. It wastes energy and gets you nowhere.

Yes, this week I want to get back to making stuff for this blog and do some more writing. I want to find a bit more balance rather than coming home feeling so tired I skip post dinner chats and sofa cuddles and go straight to bed. But it’s all on me. And I don’t need to beat myself up, I need to big myself up. I’ve done a good thing these past few weeks. I’ve listened to my body, and what I needed which was some chill time, not saying yes to everything (including the deadlines I set myself) and removing some things from my to do list. Some weeks that might be writing, others it might be not seeing friends. Either way, that’s ok.

Let’s stop beating ourselves up and be kind. Your inner critic has no place in propelling you forward, only dragging you back so be a friend instead. What would your best mate tell you to do? Mine would tell me to go have a bath, neck a glass of prosecco and watch TOWIE. So I might do that.

Have a good week one and all, I’ll be back soon with more words (which may, or may not meet my deadlines).

 

A x

2 Comments

  1. Anne
    14th August 2016 / 11:02 pm

    Spot on!

  2. Mike
    14th August 2016 / 11:26 pm

    So true, having a break to relax, reflect and recharge is so important.

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