I had a foot operation a few weeks ago hence the radio silence on the blog. It’s been a weird month, not in a bad way despite the agony of the first few weeks post-op, but because sitting still gives you a lot of time to think, to plan, and to consider how you’d cope if being dependent on others (like so many are) was your life. I have been royally looked after by H and the parentals but still, it’s an odd thing being basically inside for a couple of months. The first two weeks I had to sit still, with my foot up and could only move to pop to the loo, brush my teeth or head to bed.
So, I slept a lot, watched The Crown (if you haven’t, you should, I already miss it!), caught up on the new Cold Feet (watch that too, and prepare to swoon over Manchester), napped (always worth a try), cross-stitched (I love releasing my inner nana), started a bullet journal (post coming soon), listened to The Year of Living Danishly (I love you Helen Russell) and napped some more.
While I was horizontal and confined to the house (I still am, mostly), I began to miss stuff from my ‘old life’ (which I know I am soon to get back again once my elephant foot has healed) and it wasn’t the obvious stuff it was a lot of the things I either used to moan about or just took for granted and never thought about. So, because health is wealth, I’m going to look back on this post when I’m back on my feet and remind myself of the simple but glorious things I missed so much when I was bed/sofa bound. If you’re having a down day, maybe doing one of these little things (they really are little) or reminding yourself to be grateful you can do these things will help.
1. Being outside.
Fresh air! Even feeling the cold! I’ve forgotten what my winter coat looks like, or the sky or how nice it is to go for a walk with Mabel. I want to go on a thousand country walks as soon as physically possible, and wear two shoes (not just one) and scarves and hats.
I have been known (many times) to moan about this, finding excuses why I really don’t need to go to yoga/swimming/running but I have massively missed the option since it’s been dead to me. I’ve missed moving my body, stretching it, feeling strong and dancing around the kitchen to music. When I’m better (I think I’m allowed to swim first) I really want to build exercise back into my life properly, in a way that works for me, reminding myself how much I missed movement and hopefully quit some of the moaning I used to do. I’m hoping for a blend of swimming, yoga and when I can properly use my foot again, some dance too. I’ve had my eye on a class for a while, and once elephant foot heals, I’m getting straight into that studio.
I still can’t have a bath (don’t worry, I have showered) and the day the doc says I can will be a happy, glorious, lush bathbomb fuelled jamboree. You will find me in the bath, mask on, audiobook running and possibly a glass of prosecco on the windowsill. Baths are a tiny bit of luxury I didn’t realise quite how much I’d miss. Appreciate them people, sit down showers are not much fun in comparison.
4. Not needing to ask for help.
I knew I was bad at asking for help, but I didn’t realise quite how bad. I hate putting people out, making a fuss, demanding something of someone but when your foot feels like it will explode if it’s put on the ground something has to give, and I had to learn to ask for help. I’ve needed way more help over the last few weeks than I had expected and I’m looking forward to being independent again, but also remembering that the world doesn’t stop if you do ask for help and actually, it’s rather nice to feel supported and get a bit of TLC.
I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve left the house this month, and it was only to go to a hospital appointment, or to sit on someone else’s sofa. I’ve also consumed a lot of social media in the past few weeks, checking Instagram, snapchat and YouTube a lot more than I did when I had a job and a to-do list. Those two things combined can warp your sense of perspective a bit, and I have found myself having the odd wobbly moment of ‘I’m not doing enough/achieving enough/socialising enough’. OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT SOCIALISING ENOUGH WOMAN, your foot has loads of metal in it and needs to heal. I know I often need to give myself a break, and none more so than now. But the combo of not being able to do much and watching loads of glamourous women snapchat their way through meals out, parties and events can bring a girl down. But I had a word, remembered I’m only about a month away from aforementioned bath jamboree and pulled myself together. Sometimes you just need to step away from snapchat, innit?
Or in normal-speak – PAMPERING! I am a pretty low maintenance girl at the healthiest of times but in the first week post-op when washing my face was too difficult because I couldn’t put my foot down even for a minute, I started to miss doing the simple things that make me feel better about myself. Even now I’m not wearing much makeup, drip drying my hair and I’m still in my favourite post-op jogging bottoms (thank you ELLE Sport) and I am very happy but I am looking forward to getting my glam on later in the month with this velvet baby from M&S (even if I do have to cut the foot out of a pair of tights).